Should children be involved in the mediation process?
Posted by Angela Parsons on 17th June 2022
Going through divorce or separation is challenging, particularly if you have
children. If your children are old enough, they may also express worry,
concern, or preferences about what they would like to happen. However, should
your children become formally involved in the process? This article looks at
child-inclusive mediation and whether it might be right for your family.
What is child inclusive family mediation?
Child-inclusive
mediation allows children to be part of the mediation process in a structured
and practical way. Typically, couples use mediation to resolve any issues or
disputes that arise throughout the process of divorce or separation, and
through child-inclusive mediation, your children can have their say too.
Children often wish
to have their voice heard on divorce and separation matters, as it will have a
huge impact on their everyday life. They may have opinions about who they would
like to live with, how much time they will spend with each parent and even how
much contact they would like with their wider family, such as grandparents. You
can choose to listen to your child’s opinions using child-inclusive mediation.
When
should you include your child in the mediation process?
Parents want to
involve their child or children in the mediation process to provide them with a
safe space to discuss their feelings and opinions. It can be very stressful for
children to talk about living arrangements and other matters, as they don’t
want to disappoint either of their parents. Most times, children simply tell
each parent what they want to hear, which can cause greater conflict.
A mediator will help
your child process their views and form clear opinions about what they would
like to happen in the future. Child-inclusive mediation can also lead to more
child-focused outcomes and help parents understand how to deal with their
child’s opinions and emotions.
Will
mediation be stressful for your child?
In most cases,
being involved in the mediation process can actually improve the wellbeing of
your child at a very difficult time. Children often feel frustrated and left
out during the divorce or separation process. Child-inclusive mediation can
make them feel like their feelings and opinions are being properly considered.
Of course, if your child does not want to be involved in the mediation process,
you should not force them to do so.
When
is child-inclusive mediation not appropriate?
Child-inclusive mediation will not be suitable in most cases where children are under 10 years of age. If your child is over 10, the mediator may also still recommend that your child does not take part because they may lack the ability to process their emotions or understand what is going on and how it will affect them. Where you, as parents or the mediator, feel participation in mediation would be distressing for your child, it would be best to keep them out of the mediation process.
To speak with one of our family lawyers, please contact us on 01752 292201 or clientservices@wolferstans.com.